> Your back fucking ACHES. You can't remember the last time you actually stood up straight. Your body feels like a sad comical rendition of a humanoid shrimp. At this point, your back muscles must have atrophied and you have the backbone integrity of a sad wet noodle. Your shoulders are tensed. The neck is cramped. But the ache in your lower back runs deeper. It's like its ingrained itself into your very being. It's entwined in your muscles. Your bones. Your veins. Who are you without this lower back pain? Your spine hasn't been straight in months. To be fair, your life hasn't been straight in months.
You barely leave the house, hunched over your computer every day. The ever-present ache in your lower back is a physical manifestation of how awful your life is right now. That 20 minute yoga routine you found online that you promised to do every day, but in reality only do it twice a month, hasn't been working has it? Your google search history looks like this:
Maybe you should invest in a better chair ......